Three weeks ago, Morning 9:30AM

I walked down from my room at Mango and waited at the sidewalk to catch an Auto – just like any other day. I tried to wave down the first two autos but, just like any other day, they were carrying invisible passengers and didn’t stop. The third one stopped, I told him “forum” and he gestured for me to get it.

The second I was in, he turned back with a bunch of hundred rupees notes in his hand and said something to me in his own language. Here’s what I understand happened:

Auto driver : Exchange 500 ?

Me : What ?

AD : Exchange ? for 500?

(around this time I figured that he probably wanted to change his hundred rupee notes with a bigger note)

Me : I don’t have 500’s. I have 1000’s. You want?

AD : Yes. Give me 1000’s.

The dark, scruffy haired man shoved the stack of hundreds towards me. Now you will have to follow carefully what happens next because I have only been able to piece it together after a few revisions.

I took the stack of hundreds from him and counted them. There were 10 one hundred rupee notes.

I took my wallet out, handed him what I thought was a thousand rupee note and started to neatly tuck in the 10 hundreds. That’s when the auto driver spoke.

AD : Sir! What is this? This is a hundred?

I looked up at the guy and he was holding a 100 rupee note and waving it at me with an annoyed expression. I figured that I had probably given him a 100 rupee note by mistake so I took it back from him, tucked it into my wallet and handed out what I thought (again) was a 1000 Rs. note. My mistake (in hindsight) was that I was not looking at him but looking at my wallet throughout.

He spoke again.

AD : Sir! Again you gave a hundred?!

He was holding up a hundred rupee note again.

Now here’s the thing. One tends to be at their ‘believing’ best when they’re not expecting fowl play. It’s like this – If I am in a crowded train/mall/bus/etc, I automatically suspect that there could be a pick-pocket in such a location and am constantly ensuring that I can feel the shape and bulk of my wallet through my back-pocket. But one wouldn’t be so paranoid in a less (potentially) dangerous environment – such as an office canteen or a showroom or, for example, when you are sitting alone in a friggin’ auto-rickshaw!

So there he was, the fucking auto-rickshaw driver, holding up another hundred rupee note and a convoluted face accusing me of screwing up for a second time.

In all my earnestness (and absolute dumbness), I took the hundred rupee note back from him and before I knew it he was asking for his stack of hundreds.

“Give me my thousand back.” I heard him say.

Happy to end the confusion, I pulled out 10 hundreds and handed them back to him. By then I hadn’t realised what had happened… or could have happened.

“Can we finally go now?” I didn’t like his face as much as he probably didn’t like mine by then and I just wanted to reach my destination in time.

AD : “Forum.. 150!”

Generally I pay 30-40 Rupees which I know for a fact is already double the actual meter fare. This guy asking for 150, was obviously being ridiculous.

Me : “150!!! are you nuts?”

AD : “Forum.. 150!”

Me : “No… 40”

AD : “No.. forum… 150”

Me : “Fine … I’m getting off”

AD : “Fine”

I got off the auto-rickshaw, pissed at the fucking driver’s insolence and he drove off. I decided to take a minute to cool down before waving down another rickshaw.

That is when, standing there on the sidewalk outside my hotel, the last two minutes replayed in my head and I realised just how badly had I been had.

I quickly took my wallet out and counted the cash in it. I was definitely 2 notes of thousand rupees short. I replayed the whole exchange in my head again and realised my folly – of never having looked at the driver and what he was doing throughout the exchange.

I then replayed a lot of sequences from the movies in my head where one person makes a complete donkey out of another. I could see a donkey written in 20, Arial, bold and 70% opacity hovering over my head.

It then dawned upon me why he did the whole exchange charade first and then quoted an obnoxious amount for the fare – because he wanted get away quickly, before I realised what had happened.

I shook my head, cursed the auto driver and decided to walk to office that morning, regretting having taken the most expensive auto-rickshaw ride, one which didn’t even take me from point A to point B.

—-

Needless to say, when I shared my experience with folks at the office, I was told that such a thing happened a lot in Bangalore. I thanked them for having warned me in ‘advance’.