On Tuesday night, 20th September 2012, my father suffered from an Angina attack. In laymen terms, this occurs when one starts to feel a pain in the left side of their chest, accompanied with nausea, restlessness and profound sweating. This is followed with a deeper, more intense and more widespread pain that diffuses across the chest, across almost the complete upper torso.

Technically, this is a mild or a pre-stage to a full-fledged heart attack wherein the heart struggles to receive and pump blood, barely managing to function. (A heart attack is when the heart ceases to work entirely for a brief period, or permanently.)

By this time, he was already on his way to a nearby heart-speciality-hospital. My mother having driven him at speeds no less than the overtaking speeds of formula-one cars, I assume (and so I am told).

He was admitted immediately into intensive care upon reaching the hospital, with doctors giving a very cautious outlook about his overall health. I was in Mumbai at that moment, and had already booked the first flight back to Delhi for the next morning. I had also made frantic calls to close relatives and friends and Delhi and asked them to contact my mother and reach the hospital.

A couple of hours before all this unfolded, I was sitting at a coffee shop in Mumbai, drowning in a continuous stream of caffeine and nicotine (something that I do more often than the prescribed dangerous limits), starting Wind up bird chronicle by Murakami. A possibility of a medical crisis in the family was as far fetched as a distant thought that doesn’t register an existence even in the distant background skies of the mind. And yet, at 12:30 AM on 21st, I was drenched in cold sweat, clicking on ‘Yes’ to travel insurance while booking the morning flight back to Delhi, wondering whether it would be enough for the family if something happened to the flight.

The next day, on Friday, 21st September 2012, I was meeting with doctors and concerned folks, trying to piece together and understand what had happened to my father and what needed to be done to fix it. The doctors told me that they would first stabilise him, and then conduct an angioplasty. That night, I camped at the hospital with Wind-up-bird, trying not to let my mind adrift into the darker recesses of the imagination.

On Saturday, 22nd September 2012, my dad was taken to the ‘cath-lab’ wherein they insert dyes and wires with cameras into the arteries and try to ascertain how blood flows to the heart and check for blockages if any. What came out was that his main artery had an 80% blockage. According to the doctors, anything over 60% is problematic and at 80% with an assumed current lifestyle, the artery would become a choked gutter in 3-5 years, thereby stopping the heart. Thanks to the advances in modern science, the solution is fairly quick and simple, wherein they insert a ‘stunt’ (a cylindrical spring-like object) inside the glob of cholesterol that blocks the arteries. The ‘stunt’ pushes the cholesterol out and creates space for blood to flow through, and somewhat clears out the muck where it’s placed. The ‘stunt’, therefore, was inserted.

One’s thoughts and outlook is shaped by a multitude of things. These factors range from what one reads, watches, experiences and registers in conscious thought and memory. Sometimes these things have an immediate impact while other times they may cook and re-configure in one’s idle mind to create a loud ‘click’ when they fall together. Most times, I assume, the process is a amalgamation of all of the above, and more.

My dad took another couple of days to stabilise further, and has been finally discharged from the hospital. Needless to say, everyone’s glad that this episode has ended without much incidence. It has, however, left a lot of thoughts and worries. Thoughts and worries about my parents’ health and healthcare in the future (especially after their retirement), about my own health and lifestyle and healthcare (there is not one thing that I can list that is good about it – except for the ‘healthy’ food fed to me at home), about life insuarences, about work related stress and work life balance, about dreams and ambitions and the need to relish the present, etc. etc. These are open thoughts and nagging questions that need closure – and in due time. One thing, however, is clear – there is an urgent need for me to deep dive and evaluate the merits and demerits of the various facets of my lifestyle.