SUDHANSHU'S BLOG – ONCE MORE INTO THE FRAY

Mid Life Crisis

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suds

I am bang in the middle of a mid-life crisis right now. If the crisis is a whirlpool/ tornado – then I am in the centre of its eye.

Nothing seems to be right at the moment – NOTHING whatsoever.

Actually, let me elaborate, and correct that – If I do a comparison with my peers – then I would not be in a bad spot. ‘Things’ seem to going well – I have a job that I enjoy, a house, a car, decent salary, have already published one book, great friends (although they have a few complaints), great parents, etc. etc. So from the perspective of the general parameters that are used to measure how one does in life, I seem to be doing alright.

However, there is the other ‘general’ set of parameters, the ones which really cannot be measure even via comparison – where I seem to be failing miserably. Happiness. Satisfaction. Contentment. Mental/ Spiritual peace. So on and so forth.

Yes – I am aware that everybody goes through these phases and that nobody can achieve utopian levels of the other set of parameters and all that bullshit.

This post is not about any of that. It is just a vent. An expression – of the frustration. The annoyance. The helplessness. The angst.

A very well meaning person keeps fighting with me and keeps telling me that I am very ‘angsty’/ ‘snappy’. I sometimes regret that when she tells me this, I am not able to appreciate her intent. Instead, I snap back at her comments.

However, I am getting a feeling that all this ‘angsty-ness’ is primarily because of this crisis. I know different people deal with this emptiness very differently. For most, the treatment might be entirely invisible to anybody else. Probably that’s why a lot of folks just ‘appear’ to be OK/ Happy. I would suppose/ argue that this would also not be the most optimal method as well.

How does one overcome this? This is mostly a rhetorical question – I have played all the possible answers in my head and none of them seem to be able to calm me down. I guess that completes the circle of this crisis-fuelled-helplessness. Like a cherry on a cake. Or salt on a wound.

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3 responses to “Mid Life Crisis”

  1. sobSingh Avatar
    sobSingh

    Hi,

    First, are you REALLY going through mid life crisis? Or is it that you are unhappy about something else and you are calling that MLC?

    If its indeed MLC, then the things that have helped me are…

    1. Try and zero down on that one thing that is fucking your head. So in my case, its my inability to make decent money. Its my stupid habit of procrastination. Its my failure to get the woman I love to accept me. Once I know what is fucking me, then I want to fix it. So I have tried to get more proactive, started applying to other companies and finally stopped trying too hard to get that woman.

    2. If this doesnt work, then maybe you need to take a break. When I say break, I do not mean a vacation where you are a fancy hotel and you are updating your pics on facebook, but goto a place like Vipassana where you are completely are cut away from world. And once you are away from all the hum drum of life and other such things, that is when you start looking inwards and start peeling away the layers from your sub concious. Too much?

    3. Finally, if nothing works, just become more arrogant, more brash, more snappy etc. And live your life like a king. You have money, fair amount of fame and a lot of people who are always hanging out on the sides. Use them. Live off them. Nothing is more exciting that hormones running wild and the heady feeling of being in control. You are placed to do it, stop thinking about the world, do it and you’d love it. Atleast you wont be in the limbo that you are in right now.

    4. And this is what I have done and has helped me. Get busy in the daily rut like crazy. Dont leave yourself anytime to think and ponder on. Just immerse yourself in meaningless work that keeps you occupied. It may or may not make meaning but just do it for a bit and you’d see the difference.

    Again all these are easier said than done. Sincerely hope that it helps. You have tons of gifts that people like me would give an arm and a leg for. Dont let them go waste by thinking of things like this.

    Thats it!

    Reply
  2. D Avatar
    D

    Sometimes in the middle of all the craziness that is our life, just sitting down quietly, by yourself, helps. Someone told me to enjoy it- enjoy my solitude. Enjoy the emptiness. While it lasts. Because when things will fill you up, you’ll remember this time and appreciate it for what it was and wasn’t.

    Reply
  3. Slowing Down « Unpublished

    […] been going through this mid life crisis which I realised was more to do with the human condition than anything […]

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